The Good, The Bad, The Ugly of AdvoCare Cleanse (1 week later)

This will be a quick post! I finished my AdvoCare cleanse last week. And the results were okay. I decided not to weight myself or measure just go by pictures. I felt great throughout however had a few temptations and gave in here and there. I had mentioned that I was leaving Baltimore (leaving on Saturday) and had a few drinks/dinner lined up throughout the cleanse. I drank twice sangria and a mojito and overall did look for the healthier options when eating out but who can say no to warm french bread ALL THE TIME.

I would love to do the cleanse again 100% and even think I would consider the 24 day cleanse. It definitely showed me that it is a mental game but 100% doable if you prep and want to do it.

Day 1 vs. Day 11

Birthday vs Day 11 

The biggest difference I saw was in my middle section and my face. I felt so uncomfortable  for my birthday and the day after the cleanse finished I couldn't stop taking pictures! I felt great!! 

I definitely understand the hype and would recommend AdvoCare for anyone wanting to do a cleanse without the craziness that some entail. 

xoxo 

Gigi

Take 5000000000 - Operation lose this weight

I don't care how many times I fail I'm going to get this weight off.

All I'm saying is my goals for this coming week !!

1. Full Week of Jillian 
2. Back on MyFitnessPal - recording every meal not just downloading the app
3. 1 sweet/non clean eating treat a day (moderation) 
4. No eating after 8:30pm 

Follow Through Friday- I AM ALIVE

I have been out of the game for a while now.. Let's call it D. Rose'ing (basketball reference for anyone who gets it) I went a couple months without blogging/caring about eating healthy/working out on a regular basis. Unfortunately for me this is when it mattered the most because my sister's wedding is next weekend. I worked my butt off during the summer and was seeing results and I let life happen and a good amount of those results are gone. I have gained back some weight and probably inches. But anyways I went into panic mode because I felt uncomfortable again, clothes were getting snug and I was not happy at all. Of course it is nice that the New Year was approaching so it is the best time to start over. So instead of moping around about what I didn't do I'm just starting all over again. 

I hoping to start blogging on a regular basis but for now I'm committing to just the "Follow Through Friday" for some weekly accountability and hopefully motivation. SO LETS GET STARTED 

Food 

My food has gotten A LOT BETTER. I have been meal planning again. There were some hiccups because I didn't do a full grocery trip beforehand. I have cut back on carbs specifically white carbs (which are my weakness) however there were still moments of giving in. Also have not had coffee and cut back on sugar. 

Breakfast- oatmeal and fruit

Lunch- turkey lunch meat & a salad with balsamic vinaigrette & fruit 

Dinner- depends on what I had at home; it ranged from pasta to pizza or eggs ( I know that doesn't sound healthy however everything was in small portions and like I mentioned it was because I didn't properly grocery shop) 

Snacks- varied from hard boil egg to fruit and a kind bar 

                                 Exercise 

I started the 30 day shred with Jillian Michael. I'm not a fan of working out at home; it is easy for me to just stop and make excuses. However, since my gym membership ended and I'm waiting till after the wedding to have extra funds to sign up for a new one this was my only choice. I decided to do the workout in the mornings before work and was surprise how quickly my body adjusting to waking up early, by Wednesday I was up before my alarm ready to go. I actually like the program it is quick and I feel the burn/sore the next day. I did however take Thursday off and today but will doing it at night

Results- Down 1 lbs.

Next Week's Goals:

1. Working out Sun-Thursday (wedding is next week) 

2. Eating super clean until Friday (wedding shenanigans begin) 

3. Do not eat after 8pm 

I FAILED!

So this is going from bad to worse! We did so bad on the dietbet neither one of us took it serious! I feel gross and weighting 187 so gained 4 lbs but feels like it is 10lbs. This week was a little better I planned my meals and really tried to stay away from bad foods. But didn't go to the gym all week and I just feel bad and I don't know what is going on. It is all mental! Was considering buying a 10-day cleanse but I feel so silly that I need to buy something to help me get back into the mindset. All I know is that I have to try on my bridesmaid dress on Nov. 22 and I AM FREAKING OUT!

I wish I could be positive and show progress but I'm just not there - and it is really just making me feel crappy.

Thursday blues.

One year update!!

I didn't really become committed to a lifestyle change until this blog (end of May). And if anyone is still reading this you can tell my motivation has been in a downward spiral. I guess it has a lot to do with wanting to sulk and eat instead of being active and responsible for my progress. And after going home this weekend for my sister's bridal shower and seeing these pictures I think slowly things are starting to click again. 

But anyways exactly a year ago this weekend I went to a wedding and wore a black dress and felt pretty okay  that day- for the most part however when I saw candid pictures from the photographer and tagged on Facebook- I WAS MORTIFIED. Well a little redemption this weekend because I felt pretty darn good! Everyone was complimenting me and commenting on my weight loss. In all honesty I don't feel thin- I haven't been committed for the last couple of weeks so I wasn't expecting those reactions AT ALL. But holy moly when I saw these pictures side by side TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION!! 

MY ARMS!! rough stuff  (also love that both were candid so no posing/camera angel) 

I don't really remember how much I was weighting for the wedding-I'm assuming around 195 lbs. so it still 12lbs difference from now but I think what sticks out the most is how lean I look. I think that is why my family was so shock because I may only be down 12lbs but working out makes me look a lot thinner. I"m obviously ecstatic with these picture and the difference a year can make! 

So I may be stuffing my face after work but this weekend definitely gave me a push to keep going! Dammit I deserve to reach my goal before the year ends!!!  

xoxo 

Gertrude (my fatty alter-ego) ;)

UPDATED GOALS!

When I first started blogging I had created a GOALS page. And as I reflect on what I have accomplished I think it is time to revamp and hopefully ignite some fire in me again. 


BEFORE

1. Try a new fitness activity every month (i.e. kickboxing, cycling, hot yoga, anything else I find in the area) SEMI DONE- BOOTCAMP
2. Try a Pinterest recipe or workout weekly!!  
3. Fit into my Watch the Throne T-shirt  (a little tight but fits)
4. Color Run 
5. Complete 2nd 5k by the end of the summer  (not official race but for myself)
6. Go down a bra size (current: 38B goal: 36B)
7. Learn how to swim
8. Become intermediate in yoga
9. Fit into a size 10/12 jeans (pants)

AFTER (Let's end 2013 with a BANG!) 

1. 10-12 lbs  by Nov- December (specifically the last dress fitting) (5-6 lbs by Oct. 12)  
2. 10 min mile; 5k in 30-35 mins. 
3. Complete 10k (organized or by myself) 
4. Do yoga for a FULL MONTH 
5. ABS! & TONE ARMS & SQUATS! SQUATS! (more circuit training) 
6. Fit better in my Watch the Throne T-shirt 
7. Fit into size 10 jeans! 

With that being said my gym session was awesome last night! did some abs before I ran then after I hit a mile decided I was going to do arms while walking on incline! best decision EVER! I was dripping by the end of 26mins! 

always appropriate! 

Reality Check

I looked at the date and realized I haven't written a post since AUGUST 27! Lord have mercy.. I have dropped the ball.  

So reality hit me HARD yesterday! I decided to finally face my demons.. and step on the scale. For the last month and some change I have ate what I wanted with some moderation and running 2-3 times a week. Of course I was maintaining but slowly eating what I wanted became more frequent- so thankfully the damage was gaining ONLY 3lbs. I'm so happy that the damage was minimal compared to how bad it could have been. However, this is when it dawned on me that I can't just stop; yes I'm so happy that I lost the 13lbs and went down in jean size however this is not where I want to be. I still want to lose another 10-12lbs, be able to be a size 10 in jeans/ fit into my Watch the Throne shirt and not to mention the other healthy goals I had. I honestly believe that I started to see other bloggers maintaining or just losing motivation that I kind of was like you know what I feel the same way especially how crazy my life had become. I"m in no way blaming my lack of motivation on them I just started to relate to them and ::Kanye shrugged:: this lifestyle change.

Something else that was a reality check was "being an emotional eater" I have always been an emotional eater.. ALWAYS. Having a bad/stressful/want to celebrate day I always want comfort food- usually chinese food. And yesterday was no different. I had a bad afternoon and was motivated all day to work out even printed out a workout and then shit hit the fan I skipped the gym and went straight to buy chinese food. I don't know if I can ever become a non-emotional eater but I know that right now- with everything going on in my life I DO NOT LIKE IT. This is something I'm going to work on in the next couple months as stress levels will be higher with my sister's wedding and the holidays.


Now that I can pin point the problem .. what are my SOLUTIONS.

1. I have to blog 2-3 times a week. NO EXCEPTION. I started this blog for accountability and I need to stick to it because it did help for the first 13lbs.
2. NO more processed food! I have to go back to planning/cooking all my meals!
3. Continue running but add circuit training.

With ALL of that being said.. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

A year ago... Self Motivation

I'm in a deep rut in terms of motivation. When I first started in May I was full throttle ready to lose 20lbs read to have the dream body by August 25. Well today is August 27 and I"m too scared to weight myself hoping I'm still in the 183lbs area meaning down 12lbs since I started and still far from the "dream body". I'm starting to get ansy about my weight again; uncomfortable with clothes I wear; and most importantly looking for the easy way to lose weight. I started talking some green tea pills and raspberry something or another pills my mom gave me that it is suppose to help. Well every time I take them I feel so nauseous and miserable SO WHY AM I TAKING THEM??!! Because I want to see results without doing the work. Admitting it is the first step. I dropped the ball and I'm disappointed in myself. But struggling with this my entire life and finally putting in hard work and seeing results I'm proud of I can only move forward. Will I be back on the wagon again right away NO. I started off slow and need to gradually get back into it.

I love seeing other people's progress as a form of motivation. I follow every fitness Instagram or people I know have lost a significant amount of weight. However there are times where I need to see my own progress to find that motivation again. So I found some pictures from last year and tired to get similar pictures to see the progress.. (I have realized I need to start taking more pictures HA)



The biggest difference are you usually in my face. Just got to keep trucking away! and like Anne and I always say "we will get through this.. we got this"

4th of July Last Year

Sometime this summer

Almost a year ago 

This weekend 

Thursday Updates!!!

Quick & to the point update! I was suppose to do a social run with Charm City Run- it is every Wednesday and they run between 2-7 miles with various speeds and after everyone goes out for a drink. I WAS SO EXCITED TO DO IT- I have new sneakers, I feel good and wanted to meet new people! But I went on two runs since I got the sneakers and they still need to be broken in... SO I chickened out and didn't go!

I didn't want my sneakers to slow me down/I was intimidated/I need more time- hopefully I have the guts to go next week! 

Since my mishaps at the grocery store - I was not able to find sweet potatoes but was able to get some stuff to get me back into the groove. & actually packed my breakfast and lunch today! 

Breakfast: eggs with grapes and blueberries
Lunch: chicken breast/ 1 red potato/ cucumber & tomato/ black beans

Even though they aren't  the HEALTHIEST meals it is nice to prepare and know exactly what I'm eating! Leaving to Jersey tomorrow for the Giants vs Jets game! sooo excited! going to eat so crappy! maybe time to end the summer with a detox :)

Do I only blog on Mondays???

I really need to get back into the swing of things & blogging is one of them! I have been eating pretty crappy and running here & there. I'm starting to feel gross and just blah! & I know I can't expect change UNLESS I CHANGE. It is one of those moments where I know what I need to do but still not doing it! I did however have a "okay time to snap out of it/back into the lifestyle!" moment. Yes that meatball sub & fries was AMAZING yesterday but how gross I felt last night was NOT and that is what I need to remember. 

Last night after my run- first one I did that I didn't keep time/miles for; I just wanted to run so it was about 30 mins so I'm assuming a little over 2 miles; I went grocery shopping! And of course I was trying to plan out my meals & had an idea of what I wanted to eat this week & of course the grocery store was an EPIC FAIL. They didn't have sweet potatoes, good looking veggies or anything I was planning on getting. I managed to get apples/water/ beans/candle/cottage cheese, so today I have to try again at another grocery store. 

This weekend I did go to my first running store! & the happiness I felt while I was there was amazing! I knew I needed new sneakers because the ones I had before were really starting to hurt when I went for longer runs. Charm City Run - for any Maryland people is amazing! They first had me walk to see what my need was and I'm an overpronator meaning 

this is what happens when I run

After he saw that he brought out a pair of sneakers that would help and had me get on the treadmill and recorded me running. He was able to slow it down and really see if the sneakers were fixing the problem- and it did. The sneakers I originally had do not support for overpronation and lead to knee problems! AHA!!! IT EXPLAINS MY KNEE PROBLEM!  After he saw what I needed and he brought out more options! Of course I'm a little vain and wanted something cute. 

Decided on these babies!! 

First run in them was pretty good! still have to get use to them but better than my last pair! 

Happy Lunes! Wish my luck at the second grocery store today

Coffee Date

One of the bloggers I follow does a Coffee Date post once a week; basically what she would share if she was having coffee with any of her readers.

I haven't had coffee in a couple weeks but I love coffee dates and my obsession with Kelly and Michael I choose this mug for our coffee date...

1. I'd smile and tell you I'm so happy we are having coffee 
2. I'd tell you that I'm okay and everything will be okay 
3. I'd share that I'm sad and still find myself crying more often than I would like but the more we talk the more I know we need this
4. I would tell you that I lost 11lbs officially this summer which makes me so happy 
5. I would tell you that the pants I'm wearing right now are a size 12 from BANANA REPUBLIC 
6. I would confess that the scene from The Notebook (my favorite scene) "It wasn't over .. It still isn't over" has been playing in my head over and over this weekend - 
7. I would tell you that there are days where I want to leave and not talk to anyone- not know anyone and just disappear for a year including not talking to my closest friends or family
8. I would tell you that Ashley is still the only person that knows everything I"m feeling and I feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of her 
9. I would tell you that I feel like no none understands what I'm feeling or what I want to do
10. I would tell you that I ran 5 miles yesterday with the most beautiful views and loved every minute of it 
11. I would confess that summer has always been my favorite season but I'm longing for fall- I'm longing for sweatshirts and my TOMS; maybe I'm just longing for last fall 
12. I would make a joke about someone in the coffee place and I would laugh and laugh because all I want to do these days is laugh 

Hope everyone has a great Monday!! Starting my 21 days Mediation with Oprah today and I'm really excited! 

& yes that was my weight update down 11lbs and will measure soon I promise! 

Oh Snap It's Wednesday

Hello readers!! (warning- I had really strong coffee so I'm a little jittery/hyper) 

Favorite GIF of all time! Get it Wednesday

I'm super excited because we are leaving Baltimore for a long weekend driving up to Syracuse tomorrow afternoon! I"m so drained that I need a pool/relaxation and a lot of mojitos (Ashley's mom's idea) We are still planning to run while we are there and doggie paddling in the pool counts as a workout right??

Boot camp update: So I really didn't want to go Monday tried to come up with excuses not to go however Ashley dragged me there.. and I was so glad I was there & I didn't look like Bambi afterwards so I guess there has been some progress ha. We are back at boot camp tonight!

About a month ago I came across Jennifer's  Project Progress Program and basically you participate by sending a photo/goals and each month you check back in. So I decided this would be extra motivation since all of Jennifer's readers will be waiting for some results (she has a pretty big following). So it is my first month's check in; I told her the 4lbs and 4inches I lost and took new pictures. My new goals for this next month is to lose my first 10lbs, and finish boot camp!


And these are my 1 month progress pictures!!! (purple last month/pink this week)





I was completely shock. There are some visible improvements which I didn't even notice until the pictures since I have only lost 4lbs. In all honesty I don't believe it; I think it is the wall- it has skinny powers LOL. I read a post the other day about Self Worth and it was so on point even though she is married and a mom but essentially it was all the feelings I go through. And after the pictures yesterday I felt like I wasn't worthy of this progress but I am. I deserve the body I have always wanted/imagined. Still think those pictures are wrong and probably going to nag Ashley to take new ones but for now I'm going to accept them.

Off Day

Just an overall blah day.. I'm not sure if it is post PMS but I'm just drained and sad. I really just want to crawl back into bed after work but forcing myself to go to the gym since tomorrow I can't because I work all day.

Looking at a new blog today and she lost 60lbs in 7 months! Talk about hard work and dedication! Check out Jess and her story!

She posted this quote today .  "Actually, I just woke up one day and decided That I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that. " - Unknown" 

And even though I feel crappy and don't want to go to the gym this sounds about right so just have to push through whatever this is. In the meantime I"m looking at gym clothes/new running sneakers! I have Under Armour sneakers now but think my gift to myself after 10lbs down will be these babies!




Happy Wednesday y'all

12 Week Weight Loss Challenge

I'm always looking for blogs to follow- people to motivate me or just someone who is on the same struggle bus. Well yesterday I found Caitlin who just started a  12 Week Weight Loss Challenge. Basically from June 20 until September 20 she will post 3 mini goals for the week (posting on Friday). The mini goals are designed to help you reach your ultimate 3 main goals that you want to achieve by the end of the 12 weeks! Even though I have my own goal list it pretty much supports what I want to do, so why not! Technically I'm late to the party but that isn't stopping me!

Week 1: 

1. Identify three weight loss-related goals you'd like to achieve or work towards in the next twelve weeks -

                    i. Run 5K less than 45mins 

                    ii. Eating little/no white grains (white bread/white rice/processed sugar)  

                    iii. See the 170's- I don't care if on September 20 I see 179lbs I will be HAPPY! 

1. Drink 2L of water/day! Staying hydrated is important! {definitely need to keep track of this}
2. Get 30 min. of activity/day- {altering this to a full workout 5-6 days a week} 

Week 2:

1. Ditch the scale. {So I have been thinking about doing this! But it is going to be hard not to weight myself. My goal is to do it twice a month- mid point and end of the month}
2. Create an inspiration Wordle! {couldn't make a wordle just yet but looking for more realistic motivation on Twitter/Instagram this week}
3. Track my food every day. {I use MyFitnessPal and have gotten better but slacked off last week, so going hard this week}

Overall, I"m on the right tract this will just help the weeks be a little bit more focused! Join me on this 12 week challenge and if you don't have a blog just comment your experience !!

Be Nice To Yourself

This post has taken a little bit longer to publish because I am still processing everything, so this post might be somewhat of a rant. 

One of my friends SnapChatted me and the caption read something like "be nice to yourself" I was half a sleep when I opened it but that part stuck with me (besides that her hair looked great in the picture). A few days ago my best friend Teresa reblogged this picture on Tumblr- 

So that being said, I was extremely hard on myself yesterday. I felt very overwhelmed by EVERYTHING!! I started off the day  indulging in a mini cheese danish- thought I didn't like them clearly I was wrong- I ATE 3 of those mini suckers!! Okay so my day went from okay- to bad- to worse; Negative Nancy made a stupid comment/face about me eating a veggie option in stead of one that had bacon, or sausage (work was having a breakfast event) So that just got me fired up, I then spent about 3 hours looking at blogs, mostly blogs about weight loss, ALL were moms, wives, 30 something year old who had a great success story, lost 50+ pounds, etc. They were definitely motivational and inspiring but this is how I felt-

This was my face with a little bit of tears 

In that moment I started to tear myself up , I started to go crazy planning! I was mad that I ate the danishes, mad that I'm only walking instead of going to the gym, mad about everything! I started to make a new schedule where I would wake up at 5:30am to get to the gym (which is now a 20min commute from our new apartment) to then drive an hour to Columbia where I work by 8am. I started to panic that I haven't seen any movement down on the scale, basically feeling that I have not done enough!! The rest of the day was a bust, I didn't want to talk to anyone and definitely didn't want to go on a walk with Amanda. 

Thankfully by 5 o'clock I was able to snap out of it and even convinced Amanda that we should jog the first lap to burn off all the danishes. I felt great after the workout!! But this shows exactly what Ashley said to me last night; I'm so hot & cold about this whole journey, I want to do everything all at once and when I don't see any change, I"m done I freak out I want to cry, etc.  Instead of seeing these other blogs as inspiration and motivation I see it as why am I not there yet,why did they lose 10lbs the first week and I haven't. I realize that we don't have the same body, some of these women's starting weight are 230+ and I really can not and should not measure how long it takes me by how long it took them. 

And I"m doing the best Gigi can do; I'm making changes- slowly but surely to get to my goals.

 I NEED TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME 

 I end this post with something I saw this morning on Instagram 

#noExcuses #eyeontheprize

So I'm starting off this week SUPER motivated! This weekend was shaky not going to lie, however we went grocery shopping yesterday and wooo what a stock fridge can do! They always say don't want to eat crappy food.. don't keep it in your house and that is exactly what we did.

Then later that evening my good friend Joyce tweeted "When you reeaalllllyyyyy want something you make it happen. #NoExcuses"  and that really just got me going and excited about today! 

My coworker Amanda is awesome; she really wants me to meet my goals so she is helping me out as well as improving her healthy lifestyle on the way. She bought us 2 notebooks where we will note everything we eat and let the other person see it. The idea is that we have someone that can make us accountable everyday. I also use  MyFitnessPal ( I haven't used it in over 2 months but I"m back on it) this app basically calorie counts so you put in all your meals and it will let you know your calorie intake, I'm currently only eating 1,200 calories a day- which is low but needed something low to get the pounds rolling off. 

Amanda and I are also walking after work twice a week. Now I can technically just start going back to the gym- since i'm paying for it and haven't gone in 2 months, however, I don't want to overwhelm my body with a change in diet and more activity all at once. I want to gradually add it in so I will less likely give it all up. So even though I want to go to the gym on the other days of the week I'm going to add days in the next couple of weeks. 

Week 1- 2 days of walking 
Week 2- 2 days of walking; 1 day of gym 
Week 3- 2 days of walking; 2 days of gym 

*This also is tentative since I work at Banana Republic some nights & weekends, but you get the point. 

I also have 22 days until my first check in point so #noExcuses #eyeontheprize

TGIT (Thank God Its Tuesday?)

 Finally the weekend is over.. and I'm kind of glad !! This weekend was not a complete train wreck however I did hit bumpy bumpy roads but did have an AHA moment (my Oprah reference).

I left work Friday anxious (see previous post) because I knew we were going over to a friend's house and there was going to be booze and junk food -BAD! plus a brunch on Saturday - extra bad!! However I started off okay, I split some dinner with Ashley and we left to meet up with everyone. At the actual bonfire I had a small helping of buffalo dip & chips and later that night when everyone was feeling their drinks they started to make pizza bagels & pretzels and I was able to resist only eating 1 mini pizza bagel and a bite of a pretzel and called it a night. When we got to brunch the next morning I quickly realized that this place had NOTHING healthy- I'm telling you everything on the menu sounded delicious and everything I shouldn't be eating! But I did not panic and just went with it - rationalizing that it was early in the day and since we had to pack & move I surely would burn the calories. I ended Saturday without burning brunch calories but eating a small helping gnocchi with a salad.

Now here comes Sunday & Monday- it included Chinese food (chicken& broccoli with white rice- YES ate the whole combo plate ) Ritas; Monday- 1/2 Club Turkey Sandwich (mayo, bacon & white bread included) and  coffee oreo milkshake. So basically I ate "bad" food all weekend probably the only thing missing was fries!
 

 I'm  trying to lose weight but I'm also trying to be nicer to myself. I went to counseling last year to deal with my weight and other stuff that came up. And in those meetings my counselor would always say the way I "encourage" myself is very mean and hurtful and usually doesn't get me anywhere. So that is also an area i'm trying to improve in.

With that being said I am cutting myself some slack for this weekend but also reflecting on why I didn't say no to at least the milkshake or any other of the social meals. I think all my life I have been the "funny fat girl or knowing Rudy she would say "you aint funny"so just the fat friend and even though my close friends wouldn't describe me as that- that is how I see it.

I also feel very self conscious about saying hey guys I'm on a diet or hey guys I should not eat that because it is embarrassing to admit that I am not happy  where I am and I hate those people who shove healthy food down everyone's throat or everything about what they are eating is about their diet so its easier just to eat  x,y,z then speak up. But from the guilt I felt last night & all day today because I knew I had to write a post I think slowly I will just start internally saying no to certain food without making a fuss. As well as whispering it to people that I should not eat certain things because I know the people who are rooting for me don't want me to give into temptation.

So yes moderation is great and everyone will preach how "Gigi that was fine you can have a milkshake every once in awhile" but unfortunately I"m not there! I"m at the stage where I need discipline to say no because I easily snowball into an entire week of bad eating and rationalize with myself how I can start next Monday or the next one and then I gained another 10 lbs. I need the straight and narrow for at least a month so becomes good habits.

Pretty accurate  



Any who! Happy Tuesday! this post is a sigh a relief because now I can keep it moving

Long Weekend Ahead

So this post is going to be short & to the point.. weekends are the WORST for me! I think food is that much more delicious between Friday and Sunday not to mention this Monday is a holiday. On any other weekend I would be so excited to order out tonight and go out to eat Saturday & sometimes Sunday to then recover on Monday, however this cycle has to end. Realistically I'm not going to stay home until all the weight is off- I have to learn how to eat out the healthy way.

It does give me some anxiety thinking about it because even this week trying to stay on the straight and narrow has been hard.. I have given into a piece a chocolate yesterday & a milkshake on Tuesday (it was strawberry so that is considered a fruit serving right? ha) and a breakfast wrap this morning. I did however have some success I did chose to have Subway (turkey no cheese very little lite mayo on wheat) for lunch & homemade very healthy salads the rest of the week as well as a healthy smoothie last night- so overall I have been semi okay with this weeks food decisions. I know the biggest thing for me is to get back on MyFitnessPal so I can really monitor what I'm eating and my calorie in take, however it is annoying to track EVERYTHING YOU EAT and put it on an app but I think this has to be done!

I will be going to brunch with some Lange Ladies tomorrow & we are hanging out tonight as well so this is my first test, making an 100% effort to say yes to healthier options!!! egg whites, veggies & all that good stuff (gif is too funny LOL)



Also yesterday I decided to tell my close friends (Lange Ladies) about the blog. The more people that know the less likely I will give up! & they reacted very positive and encouraging which made me feel AMAZING!!

Ending this Friday post with some anxiety but really pumped to kick some ass!! (aka not eat junk)

Day 1 (but really Day 3)

The purpose of this entire blog is to give me accountability during my weight loss journey. I don't have that many readers (actually only 2- hi Ashley & Teresa - my biggest cheerleaders) but my goal is to expand this blog so I do have other readers that will read my posts and get motivated, or cheer me on, or just want to see if i'm going to fail. I want to be honest from day 1 with what I eat, what activities I do and most importantly what excuses/what stops me from doing x,y,z (I hoping this will minimize as time goes on).

A little more in depth background on my weight obsession- I have always been the heavier one in my family and usually among my friends. My family is very much obsessed and vocal about what they consider a good weight for me. From the age of 12 I have been at diet doctors taking pills (I have tried them ALL) probably until the age of 19/20 when I was in college and couldn't do the pills any longer. I have lost a lot of weight (40lbs to be exact) then gain it back with time.

I go through waves with my weight, my main problem is I lose motivation/focus/drive/everything you need to get to the GOAL. I will tell myself  "this is it.. I"m sticking to it.. no junk food.. all healthy.. ALL DAY) I start things to motivate myself, downloading new apps, start a challenge (S/O to #Great48 & Miss Jia for all her motivation- will do a post on this another day ) however money gets tight or I get tired or don't lose anything in the time frame I gave myself (usually unrealistic goals) and just STOP then a couple weeks later when I have ballooned (that is what I see in the mirror usually another 2-5lbs added) I start freaking out and getting upset & self loathing & the cycle continues.

What is different now??? What makes this time THE TIME? Well I"m tired of being FAT and uncomfortable and self conscious; always asking everyone around me "is this okay? do I look fat? Don't lie?" or taking pictures and making them retake it because it is not the "right angle". I"m tired of going into stores and saying "no can't wear stripes, or anything that has a zipper or this stores 14-16 run small"

I'm making a promise to myself that I'm doing this for me, pound by pound the healthy way- no supplements.  I"m not going to lie and say its for my health because i'm 23 years old I WANT TO LOOK HOT  but health does comes second. I'm also not going to lie and say I will be a saint through this process.. but that is why posting will be so important because when I'm honest with myself (& the readers) I will be able to see what I need to improve on.

I'm hoping my posts won't be this long but check out my GOALS page to see what the game plan is and leave comments or ask questions!!