JUST ORDERED MY ADVOCARE

Have been in a DEEP weight loss rut! Last week was my 24th birthday and some of the pictures were great and some (after I got my hair cut ) were a little "ewww why does my face look so round maybe because I have been stuffing my face since December" and since I'm really trying to be in a positive mind set with all aspects of my life I ended my pitty party today and ordered my advocare detox!

 I'm super scared/excited! Post on my game plan to come soon!!!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!!

Take 5000000000 - Operation lose this weight

I don't care how many times I fail I'm going to get this weight off.

All I'm saying is my goals for this coming week !!

1. Full Week of Jillian 
2. Back on MyFitnessPal - recording every meal not just downloading the app
3. 1 sweet/non clean eating treat a day (moderation) 
4. No eating after 8:30pm 

One year update!!

I didn't really become committed to a lifestyle change until this blog (end of May). And if anyone is still reading this you can tell my motivation has been in a downward spiral. I guess it has a lot to do with wanting to sulk and eat instead of being active and responsible for my progress. And after going home this weekend for my sister's bridal shower and seeing these pictures I think slowly things are starting to click again. 

But anyways exactly a year ago this weekend I went to a wedding and wore a black dress and felt pretty okay  that day- for the most part however when I saw candid pictures from the photographer and tagged on Facebook- I WAS MORTIFIED. Well a little redemption this weekend because I felt pretty darn good! Everyone was complimenting me and commenting on my weight loss. In all honesty I don't feel thin- I haven't been committed for the last couple of weeks so I wasn't expecting those reactions AT ALL. But holy moly when I saw these pictures side by side TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION!! 

MY ARMS!! rough stuff  (also love that both were candid so no posing/camera angel) 

I don't really remember how much I was weighting for the wedding-I'm assuming around 195 lbs. so it still 12lbs difference from now but I think what sticks out the most is how lean I look. I think that is why my family was so shock because I may only be down 12lbs but working out makes me look a lot thinner. I"m obviously ecstatic with these picture and the difference a year can make! 

So I may be stuffing my face after work but this weekend definitely gave me a push to keep going! Dammit I deserve to reach my goal before the year ends!!!  

xoxo 

Gertrude (my fatty alter-ego) ;)

OCTOBER DIETBET

In blog land like in real life there are trends. The popular weight loss bloggers will try something or announce a new challenge and within a couple of hours/days most will follow and join in on the detox, Jillian Michael video, or monthly challenge. Well last month Skinny Meg announced her DietBet and everyone joined in- 887 participants and the pool was $22,575! You bet 25$ (joining fee) to lose 4% of your weight in one month at the end the winners divide the pool of money. Of course every participant had to submit a picture of their weight in the beginning of the month and at the end to make sure no one cheated. Well I decided not to join in because I wanted to see how it all worked out and I knew I was still not mentally focused to lose weight.

However October is here & I"m ready to end the year strong!! And if you know me you know I'm a sucker for bets, some would call it a gambling problem but not the time to get into that. Ashley isn't a gambler but she is competitive so with a little bit of shit talking I had her convinced to do it with me. We did the same rules as the official DietBet however if we both lose our 4% we would just go out for a nice dinner or buy something for the apartment. We did add a little twist so we save some money and avoid crappy temptations. Every time one of us eats fast food- the same amount you spend on the meal has to be added into the pool of money. We officially started yesterday and already I put money in the pool HA but it is game face on - & Ashley is GOING DOWN
 

Starting Weight- 183.6lbs
4% to lose -7.3lbs.

Reality Check

I looked at the date and realized I haven't written a post since AUGUST 27! Lord have mercy.. I have dropped the ball.  

So reality hit me HARD yesterday! I decided to finally face my demons.. and step on the scale. For the last month and some change I have ate what I wanted with some moderation and running 2-3 times a week. Of course I was maintaining but slowly eating what I wanted became more frequent- so thankfully the damage was gaining ONLY 3lbs. I'm so happy that the damage was minimal compared to how bad it could have been. However, this is when it dawned on me that I can't just stop; yes I'm so happy that I lost the 13lbs and went down in jean size however this is not where I want to be. I still want to lose another 10-12lbs, be able to be a size 10 in jeans/ fit into my Watch the Throne shirt and not to mention the other healthy goals I had. I honestly believe that I started to see other bloggers maintaining or just losing motivation that I kind of was like you know what I feel the same way especially how crazy my life had become. I"m in no way blaming my lack of motivation on them I just started to relate to them and ::Kanye shrugged:: this lifestyle change.

Something else that was a reality check was "being an emotional eater" I have always been an emotional eater.. ALWAYS. Having a bad/stressful/want to celebrate day I always want comfort food- usually chinese food. And yesterday was no different. I had a bad afternoon and was motivated all day to work out even printed out a workout and then shit hit the fan I skipped the gym and went straight to buy chinese food. I don't know if I can ever become a non-emotional eater but I know that right now- with everything going on in my life I DO NOT LIKE IT. This is something I'm going to work on in the next couple months as stress levels will be higher with my sister's wedding and the holidays.


Now that I can pin point the problem .. what are my SOLUTIONS.

1. I have to blog 2-3 times a week. NO EXCEPTION. I started this blog for accountability and I need to stick to it because it did help for the first 13lbs.
2. NO more processed food! I have to go back to planning/cooking all my meals!
3. Continue running but add circuit training.

With ALL of that being said.. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

Do I only blog on Mondays???

I really need to get back into the swing of things & blogging is one of them! I have been eating pretty crappy and running here & there. I'm starting to feel gross and just blah! & I know I can't expect change UNLESS I CHANGE. It is one of those moments where I know what I need to do but still not doing it! I did however have a "okay time to snap out of it/back into the lifestyle!" moment. Yes that meatball sub & fries was AMAZING yesterday but how gross I felt last night was NOT and that is what I need to remember. 

Last night after my run- first one I did that I didn't keep time/miles for; I just wanted to run so it was about 30 mins so I'm assuming a little over 2 miles; I went grocery shopping! And of course I was trying to plan out my meals & had an idea of what I wanted to eat this week & of course the grocery store was an EPIC FAIL. They didn't have sweet potatoes, good looking veggies or anything I was planning on getting. I managed to get apples/water/ beans/candle/cottage cheese, so today I have to try again at another grocery store. 

This weekend I did go to my first running store! & the happiness I felt while I was there was amazing! I knew I needed new sneakers because the ones I had before were really starting to hurt when I went for longer runs. Charm City Run - for any Maryland people is amazing! They first had me walk to see what my need was and I'm an overpronator meaning 

this is what happens when I run

After he saw that he brought out a pair of sneakers that would help and had me get on the treadmill and recorded me running. He was able to slow it down and really see if the sneakers were fixing the problem- and it did. The sneakers I originally had do not support for overpronation and lead to knee problems! AHA!!! IT EXPLAINS MY KNEE PROBLEM!  After he saw what I needed and he brought out more options! Of course I'm a little vain and wanted something cute. 

Decided on these babies!! 

First run in them was pretty good! still have to get use to them but better than my last pair! 

Happy Lunes! Wish my luck at the second grocery store today

Motivation Monday

I have really fell off from posting recently. Partly because my body is still recovering, partly because my motivation has changed and partly because I'm emotionally drained. HOWEVER! I keep seeing small victories throughout this "lifestyle change" I don't crave soda or sweets or greasy foods (okay I'm lying a little bit but it has gotten A LOT better than when I started in May) I have seen clothes fit me that hasn't in a long time! I bought size 12 dress pants at Banana and size 12 shorts and a Medium size jersey dress at Gap this weekend (pictures to come!) I realized that I do like planning out my meals especially for lunch and my body misses eating healthy! Slowly I'm getting back to eating what I was eating before I got sick & have actually been able to run a few times this past week. My life shifted a lot recently but the main goal is still there! So I just have to keep rolling with the punches because even though old Gigi would have just bought a lot of fries, a lot of bread, a lot of ice cream, cried and watched the Notebook on repeat; the me today is going for a run tonight and excited to eat an apple for lunch today! Yeah I can't believe it either!!

STOP WAITING! BE HAPPY NOW

Rainy Thursday I ADORE YOU

So I have clearly been MIA- I wrote a really sad post yesterday and just kept adding to it and saving it never fully committing to hitting the publish button- and I'm glad I didn't. Maybe one day, maybe even next week I would just put it out there so you all know how I was feeling but for now I'm glad I didn't do it.

 Life is hilarious sometimes and at 23 I think I'm starting to realize that. I am a religious person (yes! shock a homosexual who believes in Jesus how could that be?) LOL I don't fully believe everything the Catholic church preaches but I can't imagine my life without believing that something greater than us has a plan.

Not trying to preach but yesterday I might have had a baby Oprah "aha" moment! This break up is still pretty fresh- like a week fresh (yes I'm going through a breakup with a person that I still live with/love/and respect as a person and is an amazing addition to my life) and long story short we broke up because we need time to figure things out on our own and just needed to be 23 year olds- again maybe one day I will write a whole post about this but right now that is all I want to share.

Back to my aha moment- I felt so overwhelmed yesterday I described it as "being sad with a a hint of suffocation" yes- I felt like I couldn't breathe and I wanted to just  run for hours if I could while it rained would have been amazing. So after some thought I cancelled my dinner plans and decided I needed a day alone- since this all has happened I have had amazing friends reach out to me/make plans/ even Ashley just us sitting and talking about what the game plan is and most importantly letting things off our chest and resassuring that we love each other no matter what. And yes everyone has amazing intentions but I just needed to be alone- I needed to process my own feelings. I'm tired of talking about it- it sucks- lets be honest but I can't just let this sadness consume me .. especially when I"m feeling great about my progress. I know there will be sad days but I also know that I can get through this. Sorry rambling but I was able to do a short run- since I"m still sick ( I know it blows) cook myself dinner/organize some clothes and I felt great- towards the end of the night I got really upset started to cry and I got an email

I signed up for this 21 day Meditation challenge with Oprah awhile back and didn't even mentioned it to Ashley was just like whatever this will be good for my anxiety issues and didn't remember at all until I got that email mid tears.. And I just started laughing like God you're funny! Just when I'm literally mentally bullying myself about this God/Oprah lets me know things will get better. 

I know this post is already long but I need to give credit to the bloggers out there who have no idea that reading their words are really helping. Most of my friends know that I'm obsessed with certain bloggers/twitter people like Luvvie Miss Jia Crissle and Kid Fury all which I found on Twitter. Luvie is the funniest person ever and I just *wall slide* as she says when I read her posts. But yesterday I decided to go through some of her post- she has been blogging for over 6 years now so there is a lot I haven't read but one post caught my attention- when she wrote about her grandmother passing away and she said she would continue to blog because she wanted to laugh and make other people laugh during a time when all she wanted to do is cry. And it hit home so much! No I"m not saying this can be compared to losing a loved one but it hurts and I realized I'm tired of crying all I want to do is laugh. And then look at God/universe sending me signs all day- today's affirmation on my wellness app (yes you can make fun of me but it is needed for my anxiety) 

I love laughing and I love making people laugh.. when me and Rudy get at it and start one of our rants it is my favorite thing we become Maya Rudolph and Kristin Wiig in my mind. So with that being said I just want to laugh if I"m talking/seeing you lets just have a good time! Let's just laugh.


Also huge thank you to Beth who wrote a post about  just letting things out with the stress of planning a wedding and the toll it was taking on her and finished her post with this 

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Happy Rainy Thursday!! and I swear weight updates will come up on Monday!