I Can't come up with a clever title.. so here you go Follow Through Friday Take 4 (2 for me)

This week has been awesome! The week of the wedding was crazy! I was in panic mode and tried to detox and crash diet! I was having panic attacks as if I was the bride. But I calmed myself down- there was very little I could do at that point. Thankfully my sister picked flattering dresses so that helped a lot. I just kept telling myself that this was going to be the before pictures and after the alcohol, delicious food and cake I would get back at it. Last week was slow moving so but finally something clicked; I did it once got to see some results but DAMMIT I want more results so I just have to keep going! 

This week's goals: 

1. Full Week of Jillian 
2. Back on MyFitnessPal - recording every meal not just downloading the app
3. 1 sweet/non clean eating treat a day (moderation) 
4. No eating after 8:30pm 

So I didn't fully complete my goals HOWEVER when I started in May I focused on food first then slowly got into working out. I was totally ready to do Jillian but then decided to do a boot camp class I did this summer. I had a groupon and it was great but shit happened and didn't finish the full month. So now we are back paying full price (kill me it is so expensive! but hopefully gets me there ) but already feel great. I did boot camp on Wednesday and today. This morning we did the 5:30am class & let me tell you I FEEL GREAT!!! I'm so energized and just feeling good. I'm a little sore and tight but not walking like a baby deer so I will take it. 

Next week's goals:

1. Continue using MyFitnessPal
2. Go to boot camp 3 days this week 
3. Eat very little during Super Bowl party 
4. DO NOT MESS UP DURING THE WEEKEND! (for this reason I weighted myself today and weighting again on Monday) 

HAPPY FRIDAY!!! 

Take 5000000000 - Operation lose this weight

I don't care how many times I fail I'm going to get this weight off.

All I'm saying is my goals for this coming week !!

1. Full Week of Jillian 
2. Back on MyFitnessPal - recording every meal not just downloading the app
3. 1 sweet/non clean eating treat a day (moderation) 
4. No eating after 8:30pm 

Follow Through Friday- I AM ALIVE

I have been out of the game for a while now.. Let's call it D. Rose'ing (basketball reference for anyone who gets it) I went a couple months without blogging/caring about eating healthy/working out on a regular basis. Unfortunately for me this is when it mattered the most because my sister's wedding is next weekend. I worked my butt off during the summer and was seeing results and I let life happen and a good amount of those results are gone. I have gained back some weight and probably inches. But anyways I went into panic mode because I felt uncomfortable again, clothes were getting snug and I was not happy at all. Of course it is nice that the New Year was approaching so it is the best time to start over. So instead of moping around about what I didn't do I'm just starting all over again. 

I hoping to start blogging on a regular basis but for now I'm committing to just the "Follow Through Friday" for some weekly accountability and hopefully motivation. SO LETS GET STARTED 

Food 

My food has gotten A LOT BETTER. I have been meal planning again. There were some hiccups because I didn't do a full grocery trip beforehand. I have cut back on carbs specifically white carbs (which are my weakness) however there were still moments of giving in. Also have not had coffee and cut back on sugar. 

Breakfast- oatmeal and fruit

Lunch- turkey lunch meat & a salad with balsamic vinaigrette & fruit 

Dinner- depends on what I had at home; it ranged from pasta to pizza or eggs ( I know that doesn't sound healthy however everything was in small portions and like I mentioned it was because I didn't properly grocery shop) 

Snacks- varied from hard boil egg to fruit and a kind bar 

                                 Exercise 

I started the 30 day shred with Jillian Michael. I'm not a fan of working out at home; it is easy for me to just stop and make excuses. However, since my gym membership ended and I'm waiting till after the wedding to have extra funds to sign up for a new one this was my only choice. I decided to do the workout in the mornings before work and was surprise how quickly my body adjusting to waking up early, by Wednesday I was up before my alarm ready to go. I actually like the program it is quick and I feel the burn/sore the next day. I did however take Thursday off and today but will doing it at night

Results- Down 1 lbs.

Next Week's Goals:

1. Working out Sun-Thursday (wedding is next week) 

2. Eating super clean until Friday (wedding shenanigans begin) 

3. Do not eat after 8pm 

One year update!!

I didn't really become committed to a lifestyle change until this blog (end of May). And if anyone is still reading this you can tell my motivation has been in a downward spiral. I guess it has a lot to do with wanting to sulk and eat instead of being active and responsible for my progress. And after going home this weekend for my sister's bridal shower and seeing these pictures I think slowly things are starting to click again. 

But anyways exactly a year ago this weekend I went to a wedding and wore a black dress and felt pretty okay  that day- for the most part however when I saw candid pictures from the photographer and tagged on Facebook- I WAS MORTIFIED. Well a little redemption this weekend because I felt pretty darn good! Everyone was complimenting me and commenting on my weight loss. In all honesty I don't feel thin- I haven't been committed for the last couple of weeks so I wasn't expecting those reactions AT ALL. But holy moly when I saw these pictures side by side TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION!! 

MY ARMS!! rough stuff  (also love that both were candid so no posing/camera angel) 

I don't really remember how much I was weighting for the wedding-I'm assuming around 195 lbs. so it still 12lbs difference from now but I think what sticks out the most is how lean I look. I think that is why my family was so shock because I may only be down 12lbs but working out makes me look a lot thinner. I"m obviously ecstatic with these picture and the difference a year can make! 

So I may be stuffing my face after work but this weekend definitely gave me a push to keep going! Dammit I deserve to reach my goal before the year ends!!!  

xoxo 

Gertrude (my fatty alter-ego) ;)

UPDATED GOALS!

When I first started blogging I had created a GOALS page. And as I reflect on what I have accomplished I think it is time to revamp and hopefully ignite some fire in me again. 


BEFORE

1. Try a new fitness activity every month (i.e. kickboxing, cycling, hot yoga, anything else I find in the area) SEMI DONE- BOOTCAMP
2. Try a Pinterest recipe or workout weekly!!  
3. Fit into my Watch the Throne T-shirt  (a little tight but fits)
4. Color Run 
5. Complete 2nd 5k by the end of the summer  (not official race but for myself)
6. Go down a bra size (current: 38B goal: 36B)
7. Learn how to swim
8. Become intermediate in yoga
9. Fit into a size 10/12 jeans (pants)

AFTER (Let's end 2013 with a BANG!) 

1. 10-12 lbs  by Nov- December (specifically the last dress fitting) (5-6 lbs by Oct. 12)  
2. 10 min mile; 5k in 30-35 mins. 
3. Complete 10k (organized or by myself) 
4. Do yoga for a FULL MONTH 
5. ABS! & TONE ARMS & SQUATS! SQUATS! (more circuit training) 
6. Fit better in my Watch the Throne T-shirt 
7. Fit into size 10 jeans! 

With that being said my gym session was awesome last night! did some abs before I ran then after I hit a mile decided I was going to do arms while walking on incline! best decision EVER! I was dripping by the end of 26mins! 

always appropriate! 

Reality Check

I looked at the date and realized I haven't written a post since AUGUST 27! Lord have mercy.. I have dropped the ball.  

So reality hit me HARD yesterday! I decided to finally face my demons.. and step on the scale. For the last month and some change I have ate what I wanted with some moderation and running 2-3 times a week. Of course I was maintaining but slowly eating what I wanted became more frequent- so thankfully the damage was gaining ONLY 3lbs. I'm so happy that the damage was minimal compared to how bad it could have been. However, this is when it dawned on me that I can't just stop; yes I'm so happy that I lost the 13lbs and went down in jean size however this is not where I want to be. I still want to lose another 10-12lbs, be able to be a size 10 in jeans/ fit into my Watch the Throne shirt and not to mention the other healthy goals I had. I honestly believe that I started to see other bloggers maintaining or just losing motivation that I kind of was like you know what I feel the same way especially how crazy my life had become. I"m in no way blaming my lack of motivation on them I just started to relate to them and ::Kanye shrugged:: this lifestyle change.

Something else that was a reality check was "being an emotional eater" I have always been an emotional eater.. ALWAYS. Having a bad/stressful/want to celebrate day I always want comfort food- usually chinese food. And yesterday was no different. I had a bad afternoon and was motivated all day to work out even printed out a workout and then shit hit the fan I skipped the gym and went straight to buy chinese food. I don't know if I can ever become a non-emotional eater but I know that right now- with everything going on in my life I DO NOT LIKE IT. This is something I'm going to work on in the next couple months as stress levels will be higher with my sister's wedding and the holidays.


Now that I can pin point the problem .. what are my SOLUTIONS.

1. I have to blog 2-3 times a week. NO EXCEPTION. I started this blog for accountability and I need to stick to it because it did help for the first 13lbs.
2. NO more processed food! I have to go back to planning/cooking all my meals!
3. Continue running but add circuit training.

With ALL of that being said.. HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

A year ago... Self Motivation

I'm in a deep rut in terms of motivation. When I first started in May I was full throttle ready to lose 20lbs read to have the dream body by August 25. Well today is August 27 and I"m too scared to weight myself hoping I'm still in the 183lbs area meaning down 12lbs since I started and still far from the "dream body". I'm starting to get ansy about my weight again; uncomfortable with clothes I wear; and most importantly looking for the easy way to lose weight. I started talking some green tea pills and raspberry something or another pills my mom gave me that it is suppose to help. Well every time I take them I feel so nauseous and miserable SO WHY AM I TAKING THEM??!! Because I want to see results without doing the work. Admitting it is the first step. I dropped the ball and I'm disappointed in myself. But struggling with this my entire life and finally putting in hard work and seeing results I'm proud of I can only move forward. Will I be back on the wagon again right away NO. I started off slow and need to gradually get back into it.

I love seeing other people's progress as a form of motivation. I follow every fitness Instagram or people I know have lost a significant amount of weight. However there are times where I need to see my own progress to find that motivation again. So I found some pictures from last year and tired to get similar pictures to see the progress.. (I have realized I need to start taking more pictures HA)



The biggest difference are you usually in my face. Just got to keep trucking away! and like Anne and I always say "we will get through this.. we got this"

4th of July Last Year

Sometime this summer

Almost a year ago 

This weekend 

Rainy Thursday I ADORE YOU

So I have clearly been MIA- I wrote a really sad post yesterday and just kept adding to it and saving it never fully committing to hitting the publish button- and I'm glad I didn't. Maybe one day, maybe even next week I would just put it out there so you all know how I was feeling but for now I'm glad I didn't do it.

 Life is hilarious sometimes and at 23 I think I'm starting to realize that. I am a religious person (yes! shock a homosexual who believes in Jesus how could that be?) LOL I don't fully believe everything the Catholic church preaches but I can't imagine my life without believing that something greater than us has a plan.

Not trying to preach but yesterday I might have had a baby Oprah "aha" moment! This break up is still pretty fresh- like a week fresh (yes I'm going through a breakup with a person that I still live with/love/and respect as a person and is an amazing addition to my life) and long story short we broke up because we need time to figure things out on our own and just needed to be 23 year olds- again maybe one day I will write a whole post about this but right now that is all I want to share.

Back to my aha moment- I felt so overwhelmed yesterday I described it as "being sad with a a hint of suffocation" yes- I felt like I couldn't breathe and I wanted to just  run for hours if I could while it rained would have been amazing. So after some thought I cancelled my dinner plans and decided I needed a day alone- since this all has happened I have had amazing friends reach out to me/make plans/ even Ashley just us sitting and talking about what the game plan is and most importantly letting things off our chest and resassuring that we love each other no matter what. And yes everyone has amazing intentions but I just needed to be alone- I needed to process my own feelings. I'm tired of talking about it- it sucks- lets be honest but I can't just let this sadness consume me .. especially when I"m feeling great about my progress. I know there will be sad days but I also know that I can get through this. Sorry rambling but I was able to do a short run- since I"m still sick ( I know it blows) cook myself dinner/organize some clothes and I felt great- towards the end of the night I got really upset started to cry and I got an email

I signed up for this 21 day Meditation challenge with Oprah awhile back and didn't even mentioned it to Ashley was just like whatever this will be good for my anxiety issues and didn't remember at all until I got that email mid tears.. And I just started laughing like God you're funny! Just when I'm literally mentally bullying myself about this God/Oprah lets me know things will get better. 

I know this post is already long but I need to give credit to the bloggers out there who have no idea that reading their words are really helping. Most of my friends know that I'm obsessed with certain bloggers/twitter people like Luvvie Miss Jia Crissle and Kid Fury all which I found on Twitter. Luvie is the funniest person ever and I just *wall slide* as she says when I read her posts. But yesterday I decided to go through some of her post- she has been blogging for over 6 years now so there is a lot I haven't read but one post caught my attention- when she wrote about her grandmother passing away and she said she would continue to blog because she wanted to laugh and make other people laugh during a time when all she wanted to do is cry. And it hit home so much! No I"m not saying this can be compared to losing a loved one but it hurts and I realized I'm tired of crying all I want to do is laugh. And then look at God/universe sending me signs all day- today's affirmation on my wellness app (yes you can make fun of me but it is needed for my anxiety) 

I love laughing and I love making people laugh.. when me and Rudy get at it and start one of our rants it is my favorite thing we become Maya Rudolph and Kristin Wiig in my mind. So with that being said I just want to laugh if I"m talking/seeing you lets just have a good time! Let's just laugh.


Also huge thank you to Beth who wrote a post about  just letting things out with the stress of planning a wedding and the toll it was taking on her and finished her post with this 

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Happy Rainy Thursday!! and I swear weight updates will come up on Monday!