Day 1 (but really Day 3)

The purpose of this entire blog is to give me accountability during my weight loss journey. I don't have that many readers (actually only 2- hi Ashley & Teresa - my biggest cheerleaders) but my goal is to expand this blog so I do have other readers that will read my posts and get motivated, or cheer me on, or just want to see if i'm going to fail. I want to be honest from day 1 with what I eat, what activities I do and most importantly what excuses/what stops me from doing x,y,z (I hoping this will minimize as time goes on).

A little more in depth background on my weight obsession- I have always been the heavier one in my family and usually among my friends. My family is very much obsessed and vocal about what they consider a good weight for me. From the age of 12 I have been at diet doctors taking pills (I have tried them ALL) probably until the age of 19/20 when I was in college and couldn't do the pills any longer. I have lost a lot of weight (40lbs to be exact) then gain it back with time.

I go through waves with my weight, my main problem is I lose motivation/focus/drive/everything you need to get to the GOAL. I will tell myself  "this is it.. I"m sticking to it.. no junk food.. all healthy.. ALL DAY) I start things to motivate myself, downloading new apps, start a challenge (S/O to #Great48 & Miss Jia for all her motivation- will do a post on this another day ) however money gets tight or I get tired or don't lose anything in the time frame I gave myself (usually unrealistic goals) and just STOP then a couple weeks later when I have ballooned (that is what I see in the mirror usually another 2-5lbs added) I start freaking out and getting upset & self loathing & the cycle continues.

What is different now??? What makes this time THE TIME? Well I"m tired of being FAT and uncomfortable and self conscious; always asking everyone around me "is this okay? do I look fat? Don't lie?" or taking pictures and making them retake it because it is not the "right angle". I"m tired of going into stores and saying "no can't wear stripes, or anything that has a zipper or this stores 14-16 run small"

I'm making a promise to myself that I'm doing this for me, pound by pound the healthy way- no supplements.  I"m not going to lie and say its for my health because i'm 23 years old I WANT TO LOOK HOT  but health does comes second. I'm also not going to lie and say I will be a saint through this process.. but that is why posting will be so important because when I'm honest with myself (& the readers) I will be able to see what I need to improve on.

I'm hoping my posts won't be this long but check out my GOALS page to see what the game plan is and leave comments or ask questions!!