This might be a debbie downer Follow Through Friday post however I have promised myself to be authentic on this blog as well as a space where I can be accountable. With that being said I need to be honest with myself.
I AM MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL. Every time I get some momentum, get the hang of it, show myself I can actually do it "this time". I stop! I justify everything and say to myself, "this won't hurt the whole thing', "one time won't hurt", "I can't deprive myself it will only cause a binge", "I'm learning balance" etc etc you get the point. And after I finished the cleanse last week I was feeling great I saw that it was doable even when I went out to eat. But the weekend came and I had a turkey burger with fries then Chinese food for two days then it was Monday and I did no groceries and didn't prep-FAIL OF A WEEK.
I did go to the grocery store on Tuesday and was able to continue some of it but I don't feel great. Boot camp is officially over since I"m leaving but the weather has been good enough that I have gone on some runs (even cut my mile by 3 mintues in a week) HOWEVER self sabotage is real and it is my life.
Honestly I do not know how to stop it? I put up post it notes around my mirror. I have a motivational background on my phone. I tell myself one day at a time, one meal at a time and during the week or for most of the day I'm good but then I see temptations and can't deny myself. I'm really nervous about moving back to NJ and having temptations everywhere! My mother's cooking is all rice, there are bakeries with fresh bread around my house, so many things I haven't had in awhile that I don't know how I'm going to get to my goal weight for the summer/memorial day weekend.
Any advice would help! Definitely feeling defeated about this journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment