A year ago... Self Motivation

I'm in a deep rut in terms of motivation. When I first started in May I was full throttle ready to lose 20lbs read to have the dream body by August 25. Well today is August 27 and I"m too scared to weight myself hoping I'm still in the 183lbs area meaning down 12lbs since I started and still far from the "dream body". I'm starting to get ansy about my weight again; uncomfortable with clothes I wear; and most importantly looking for the easy way to lose weight. I started talking some green tea pills and raspberry something or another pills my mom gave me that it is suppose to help. Well every time I take them I feel so nauseous and miserable SO WHY AM I TAKING THEM??!! Because I want to see results without doing the work. Admitting it is the first step. I dropped the ball and I'm disappointed in myself. But struggling with this my entire life and finally putting in hard work and seeing results I'm proud of I can only move forward. Will I be back on the wagon again right away NO. I started off slow and need to gradually get back into it.

I love seeing other people's progress as a form of motivation. I follow every fitness Instagram or people I know have lost a significant amount of weight. However there are times where I need to see my own progress to find that motivation again. So I found some pictures from last year and tired to get similar pictures to see the progress.. (I have realized I need to start taking more pictures HA)



The biggest difference are you usually in my face. Just got to keep trucking away! and like Anne and I always say "we will get through this.. we got this"

4th of July Last Year

Sometime this summer

Almost a year ago 

This weekend 

Thursday Updates!!!

Quick & to the point update! I was suppose to do a social run with Charm City Run- it is every Wednesday and they run between 2-7 miles with various speeds and after everyone goes out for a drink. I WAS SO EXCITED TO DO IT- I have new sneakers, I feel good and wanted to meet new people! But I went on two runs since I got the sneakers and they still need to be broken in... SO I chickened out and didn't go!

I didn't want my sneakers to slow me down/I was intimidated/I need more time- hopefully I have the guts to go next week! 

Since my mishaps at the grocery store - I was not able to find sweet potatoes but was able to get some stuff to get me back into the groove. & actually packed my breakfast and lunch today! 

Breakfast: eggs with grapes and blueberries
Lunch: chicken breast/ 1 red potato/ cucumber & tomato/ black beans

Even though they aren't  the HEALTHIEST meals it is nice to prepare and know exactly what I'm eating! Leaving to Jersey tomorrow for the Giants vs Jets game! sooo excited! going to eat so crappy! maybe time to end the summer with a detox :)

Do I only blog on Mondays???

I really need to get back into the swing of things & blogging is one of them! I have been eating pretty crappy and running here & there. I'm starting to feel gross and just blah! & I know I can't expect change UNLESS I CHANGE. It is one of those moments where I know what I need to do but still not doing it! I did however have a "okay time to snap out of it/back into the lifestyle!" moment. Yes that meatball sub & fries was AMAZING yesterday but how gross I felt last night was NOT and that is what I need to remember. 

Last night after my run- first one I did that I didn't keep time/miles for; I just wanted to run so it was about 30 mins so I'm assuming a little over 2 miles; I went grocery shopping! And of course I was trying to plan out my meals & had an idea of what I wanted to eat this week & of course the grocery store was an EPIC FAIL. They didn't have sweet potatoes, good looking veggies or anything I was planning on getting. I managed to get apples/water/ beans/candle/cottage cheese, so today I have to try again at another grocery store. 

This weekend I did go to my first running store! & the happiness I felt while I was there was amazing! I knew I needed new sneakers because the ones I had before were really starting to hurt when I went for longer runs. Charm City Run - for any Maryland people is amazing! They first had me walk to see what my need was and I'm an overpronator meaning 

this is what happens when I run

After he saw that he brought out a pair of sneakers that would help and had me get on the treadmill and recorded me running. He was able to slow it down and really see if the sneakers were fixing the problem- and it did. The sneakers I originally had do not support for overpronation and lead to knee problems! AHA!!! IT EXPLAINS MY KNEE PROBLEM!  After he saw what I needed and he brought out more options! Of course I'm a little vain and wanted something cute. 

Decided on these babies!! 

First run in them was pretty good! still have to get use to them but better than my last pair! 

Happy Lunes! Wish my luck at the second grocery store today

Motivation Monday

I have really fell off from posting recently. Partly because my body is still recovering, partly because my motivation has changed and partly because I'm emotionally drained. HOWEVER! I keep seeing small victories throughout this "lifestyle change" I don't crave soda or sweets or greasy foods (okay I'm lying a little bit but it has gotten A LOT better than when I started in May) I have seen clothes fit me that hasn't in a long time! I bought size 12 dress pants at Banana and size 12 shorts and a Medium size jersey dress at Gap this weekend (pictures to come!) I realized that I do like planning out my meals especially for lunch and my body misses eating healthy! Slowly I'm getting back to eating what I was eating before I got sick & have actually been able to run a few times this past week. My life shifted a lot recently but the main goal is still there! So I just have to keep rolling with the punches because even though old Gigi would have just bought a lot of fries, a lot of bread, a lot of ice cream, cried and watched the Notebook on repeat; the me today is going for a run tonight and excited to eat an apple for lunch today! Yeah I can't believe it either!!

STOP WAITING! BE HAPPY NOW

Coffee Date

One of the bloggers I follow does a Coffee Date post once a week; basically what she would share if she was having coffee with any of her readers.

I haven't had coffee in a couple weeks but I love coffee dates and my obsession with Kelly and Michael I choose this mug for our coffee date...

1. I'd smile and tell you I'm so happy we are having coffee 
2. I'd tell you that I'm okay and everything will be okay 
3. I'd share that I'm sad and still find myself crying more often than I would like but the more we talk the more I know we need this
4. I would tell you that I lost 11lbs officially this summer which makes me so happy 
5. I would tell you that the pants I'm wearing right now are a size 12 from BANANA REPUBLIC 
6. I would confess that the scene from The Notebook (my favorite scene) "It wasn't over .. It still isn't over" has been playing in my head over and over this weekend - 
7. I would tell you that there are days where I want to leave and not talk to anyone- not know anyone and just disappear for a year including not talking to my closest friends or family
8. I would tell you that Ashley is still the only person that knows everything I"m feeling and I feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of her 
9. I would tell you that I feel like no none understands what I'm feeling or what I want to do
10. I would tell you that I ran 5 miles yesterday with the most beautiful views and loved every minute of it 
11. I would confess that summer has always been my favorite season but I'm longing for fall- I'm longing for sweatshirts and my TOMS; maybe I'm just longing for last fall 
12. I would make a joke about someone in the coffee place and I would laugh and laugh because all I want to do these days is laugh 

Hope everyone has a great Monday!! Starting my 21 days Mediation with Oprah today and I'm really excited! 

& yes that was my weight update down 11lbs and will measure soon I promise! 

Happy Friday

Rainy Thursday I ADORE YOU

So I have clearly been MIA- I wrote a really sad post yesterday and just kept adding to it and saving it never fully committing to hitting the publish button- and I'm glad I didn't. Maybe one day, maybe even next week I would just put it out there so you all know how I was feeling but for now I'm glad I didn't do it.

 Life is hilarious sometimes and at 23 I think I'm starting to realize that. I am a religious person (yes! shock a homosexual who believes in Jesus how could that be?) LOL I don't fully believe everything the Catholic church preaches but I can't imagine my life without believing that something greater than us has a plan.

Not trying to preach but yesterday I might have had a baby Oprah "aha" moment! This break up is still pretty fresh- like a week fresh (yes I'm going through a breakup with a person that I still live with/love/and respect as a person and is an amazing addition to my life) and long story short we broke up because we need time to figure things out on our own and just needed to be 23 year olds- again maybe one day I will write a whole post about this but right now that is all I want to share.

Back to my aha moment- I felt so overwhelmed yesterday I described it as "being sad with a a hint of suffocation" yes- I felt like I couldn't breathe and I wanted to just  run for hours if I could while it rained would have been amazing. So after some thought I cancelled my dinner plans and decided I needed a day alone- since this all has happened I have had amazing friends reach out to me/make plans/ even Ashley just us sitting and talking about what the game plan is and most importantly letting things off our chest and resassuring that we love each other no matter what. And yes everyone has amazing intentions but I just needed to be alone- I needed to process my own feelings. I'm tired of talking about it- it sucks- lets be honest but I can't just let this sadness consume me .. especially when I"m feeling great about my progress. I know there will be sad days but I also know that I can get through this. Sorry rambling but I was able to do a short run- since I"m still sick ( I know it blows) cook myself dinner/organize some clothes and I felt great- towards the end of the night I got really upset started to cry and I got an email

I signed up for this 21 day Meditation challenge with Oprah awhile back and didn't even mentioned it to Ashley was just like whatever this will be good for my anxiety issues and didn't remember at all until I got that email mid tears.. And I just started laughing like God you're funny! Just when I'm literally mentally bullying myself about this God/Oprah lets me know things will get better. 

I know this post is already long but I need to give credit to the bloggers out there who have no idea that reading their words are really helping. Most of my friends know that I'm obsessed with certain bloggers/twitter people like Luvvie Miss Jia Crissle and Kid Fury all which I found on Twitter. Luvie is the funniest person ever and I just *wall slide* as she says when I read her posts. But yesterday I decided to go through some of her post- she has been blogging for over 6 years now so there is a lot I haven't read but one post caught my attention- when she wrote about her grandmother passing away and she said she would continue to blog because she wanted to laugh and make other people laugh during a time when all she wanted to do is cry. And it hit home so much! No I"m not saying this can be compared to losing a loved one but it hurts and I realized I'm tired of crying all I want to do is laugh. And then look at God/universe sending me signs all day- today's affirmation on my wellness app (yes you can make fun of me but it is needed for my anxiety) 

I love laughing and I love making people laugh.. when me and Rudy get at it and start one of our rants it is my favorite thing we become Maya Rudolph and Kristin Wiig in my mind. So with that being said I just want to laugh if I"m talking/seeing you lets just have a good time! Let's just laugh.


Also huge thank you to Beth who wrote a post about  just letting things out with the stress of planning a wedding and the toll it was taking on her and finished her post with this 

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Happy Rainy Thursday!! and I swear weight updates will come up on Monday!